Video Chat & TikTok… Cameras & Soul Connections

This is super random but I think it’s interesting and I have no ideas of my own, at least not at the moment!  Thanks, Neptune transiting my 3rd house!

My husband made a remark about kids (meaning young people), growing up, watching themselves talk on camera.  He had nothing further to say. It’s just different then how we grew up, but it got my attention.

I started making short astrology videos in 2005, long before TikTok, long before anyone.  I felt stupid, sitting in front of a camera watching myself talk. I made myself do it because the impetus to do this came from the ethereal.  It really struck me, so when I sat down in front of the camera, I pushed hard against the resistance and made my first video in on my first try.

I went on to make many more. I called my videos, “One minute astrology”. I became more comfortable in front of the camera, but it was never part of my actual life.  I was performing!  I didn’t even wear my normal clothes! All these years later, I strongly resist talking with a camera on. It feels unnatural and it distracts me.

When my husband made the comment, I tried to imagine how having to be on camera in order to have a conversation, may have affected me. “Me”, being a Venus Neptune type, sensitive to things like this, never mind, my packed 8th house.  A “performance” is one thing. Would the long, intimate conversations I had with, Ben and others, had taken place if there been a camera on? NO WAY. No way on either end.

That’s emotional, but mostly I’m thinking of the affect on true communication, when you’re worried about how you look, or worse, trying to look a certain way.  I’m sorry, but I just don’t think this is conducive to deep sharing, for a least some percentage of people.

For example, Ben and I feel each other.  We don’t need to be seen.  We don’t want to be seen, when sitting in the bottom of well, due to some life event. Our souls connect on their own, as due our minds.

There is a lot of pressure to get on the camera. I have begun doing it in consultations, a lot more often, because people want me to, badly.  Libra co-dependency!

Outside of work, there is a gal I like to talk to. We speak on camera and it’s fine.  But I can’t count how many times I would have called her, but didn’t, because to do so, I’d have to be seen. It depends on my mood.  If I’m up and sunny and feeling, Leo – let’s go!  But what percentage of me is, Leo?  It’s small!

I’m often pensive and contemplative. I want to communicate, but that’s not synonymous with “being seen” in my world. There’s pressure to appear happy, for example! I am happy. Must I put forth a facade to prove it?

Lots of questions, here!

Do others feel like I do? Or is this my 8th house and other factors?

What affect do you think it has on a person, who routinely observes themselves when speaking?  Psychologically?

Most people have some level of vanity! I’m thinking, how you look, saying something, may seem more important than what you have to say and hey!  Maybe that’s where we’re at right now. More spokesmodels, then people who relate from the depth of their soul.

Opinions? Insights?  Thank you!